I miss the “Check The” Box.

For those of us who didn’t have that moment in elementary-high school, let me break it down.

You’re a girl/guy who gets a note from another guy/girl who finds you attractive. They send you a note telling you of their intentions and always the letter usually contains the following question.

“Do you like me? Check the Box”

The boxes of course had three questions: Yes, No, Maybe.

Back then it was simple. Someone liked you they sent information to you through a note and you sent it back through another note.

Yes, No, Maybe.

It was all simple back then. Of course “like” was as fleeting as the seasons but for the moment ... you knew. You knew how someone felt about you and sometimes that led to something as complicated as a “Saved By The Bell” Plot.

Now it’s about getting to know someone, dating someone, finding out their flaws and quirks and IF you finally decide to sleep with that person you have to deal with more issues than you did before.

Funny thing about being an adult ... the older you get the more complex your problems become. It’s no longer cool to send out that note and hope for something simple as Yes,
No, Maybe.

Now you have to worry if, he/she’s compatible, not crazy, doesn’t have issues from the last relationship, not a stalker, a momma boy/daddy’s girl, etc, etc., etc. And lets not forget that the fact that people lie ... sometimes the lies are simple (“I make X-amount of dollars) sometimes they are deadly (“I don’t sleep with men”). It has gotten to the point that it dating is no longer a pleasure but rather a Job.

Even the way men and women meet now has gone beyond the norm.

The last woman I dated I met at the supermarket (Publix to be exact) and seemingly it was simple enough but since the two years that we dated and broken up, there has been the influx of Dating Online, Speed Dating and even Internet meet and greets at large locations.

The world has expanded faster than I was able to keep up.

I have it easy compared to my friend Pamela. She’s going back into the dating world after breaking up with her boyfriend of 12 years. TWELVE YEARS. The last time that she was in the loop was 1992. In 1992 the following things were happening at the time:

1) The Original Dream Team (Michael Jordan, Magic Johnson, Larry Bird, Scotty Pippen) won gold in Barcelona.
2) We Began our involvement in Somalia.
3) Martin Lawrence’s “Martin” premiered on the FOX network.
4) The Disney Film “Aladdin” Was number for the year.
5) The Email service known as Hotmail Wasn’t even Created yet.
6) I graduated from College at South Carolina State.
7) People weren’t downloading music over the internet.
8) Playstation 1 or 2 weren’t even invented yet.

Anyway, I was struck by the fact that life has changed so much since she dated. It’s not going to be easy for anyone because as we became adults life became more complicated.

Do I want to love again? As my previous posts have already stated I love what love means for me. It makes me feel good. It gives me what is warm and fuzzy inside and when I don’t have this I feel worse that I did before.

So do I want to be in a relationship again? Again I know what I want. I work better as duo rather than a solo and relationships always seem to bring out the best in me.

However I know what comes with relationships … the hurt, the pain, the abandonment of the other person always leaving me for someone better. I can’t see myself letting someone in my life, rummaging around in there then feeling empty when they bounce when I’ve built them up or solved their problems.

It would be safer for me to stay alone. Alone I can’t be hurt and no one gets claim of a heart that has been damaged so many times before.

Of course we all know it’s not as simple as that. It’s not as simple as it was when we were younger. Back then when our crushes ended we simply focused on someone else that we met at the cafeteria or at recess that day. Crushes never last longer than the school year and for the most part they never hurt as bad as I feel now.

Love … do I still want it. Yes.
Love … will I run away from it if it comes my way. No.
Love … will I trust a woman long enough to give it to me. Maybe.

So the questions still remain and I’m left with the nostalgic wish that life was as easy as it was when I was younger. Because it was much easier to get over heartbreak when you knew where the future was headed.

You knew where things stood when you were feeling it for someone.

Yes. No. Maybe.

You knew how life was going to be with that person when you were dating.

Yes. No. Maybe.

You knew if you were the passion was going with that person.

Yes. No. Maybe.

Will I get over my ex-girlfriend and finally move on? Yes? No? Maybe?

I can’t answer that because the pain is too great.